we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
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did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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