When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
