he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
