Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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