My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
