Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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