you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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