Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
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Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.