Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Randomize
Follow @tfln