I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
