Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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