hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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