Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
