god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
