He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize