ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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