Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
