so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
