hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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