Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
how does that bad decision feel?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
