i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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