I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
