Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Never underestimate the power of titties
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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