I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
