I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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