She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
