onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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