Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize