Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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