i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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