Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
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no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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