we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
