so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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