I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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