it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
