I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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