Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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