Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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