its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
