I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
