I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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