I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
