...so i touched it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize