you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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