So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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