perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize