I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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