you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
