He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize