Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
