Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
