Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
