She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
