btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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