I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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