There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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