Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
